NFL Combine Brings Some Home Truths

Yesterday, someone asked me what my plans were for this coming weekend. Naturally, I answered.

It quickly became apparent that British society is not yet ready for people sitting at home, eating twelve bags of Doritos and watching a bunch of American college graduates run 40 yards as fast as they can.

The look I received suggested that I was on the brink of doing something truly awful. The last time I’d witnessed such horrors plastered across someone’s face, I had just swooped in for the last slice of pepperoni and sausage pizza. Never again.

I was tempted to give more details. Without hesitation, I could have easily thrown out references to the other Combine activities such as the vertical jump, bench press or three cone drill. However, I was wary that this had the potential to cause severe brain trauma.

As a result, I decided this was not the best route to go down. To them, I was already the lowest of the low. The unwanted gum on the bottom of their scuffed shoe. There was no need to stick the boot in any further.

I may have been backed into a corner. However, the tides quickly turned. When asked about their own plans, they said that they were going to embark on a True Blood marathon. They wanted to watch twenty episodes back-to-back. And I was perceived as the sad one?

Now, before True Blood fans turn up at my doorstep and reprimand me for slagging off their beloved Vampire-based franchise, even they can surely see where I’m coming from. I mean, twenty episodes? That’s ridiculous.

The most TV shows I’ve ever watched on the bounce is twelve episodes of 24. I was at University and suffering from a Vodka/Red Bull induced hangover. It’s fair to say that 24 was a means to an end as it stopped me from slipping into a coma.

This person doesn’t even have an excuse.

To be fair to them, I’m not sure I have an excuse for spending the whole of this morning wondering if Johnny Manziel would be measured at 5’11 or 6’0.

Maybe it’s a tie. We’re officially as sad as each other. However, I have Doritos. 12 bags.

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