An Open Letter To The NFL Gods
Dear NFL Gods,
I feel like the time is right to end my radio silence after hearing that two NFL ‘draft gurus’ have predicted in their latest mock drafts that Johnny Manziel will end up in the hell hole that is formally known as Cleveland.
Just imagining Johnny in a Browns uniform is enough to make me choke on my unfulfilling bowl of corn flakes.
Right now, I’m clinging onto the hope that Bucky Brooks and Daniel Jeremiah do not have time machines and are taking a complete stab in the dark.
To add insult to injury, Brooks also has Mike Evans going to the Browns with their second first round pick.
A few months ago, I cringed at the thought of Johnny ending up in Jacksonville. Now, I’d bloody love it. It’s fair to say that I have taken up an ‘anywhere but Cleveland’ approach.
In fact, Manziel becoming a Jaguar is turning out to be more and more appealing by the day. With the Jags booked up to play a home game in London for the next three years, I’d be in prime position to get my required fix of Johnny effin’ Football.
Regardless, my preferred path of choice for the former Heisman Trophy winner is Houston. With the first pick of the draft, the Texans could snare him with no fuss whatsoever.
Unfortunately, there is a general consensus that Houston will plump for either Teddy Bridgewater or Jadeveon Clowney. If they do go down that route, man will I be pissed.
Therefore, aside from the Jags, I’m praying for someone to trade with St Louis for the third pick.
Where would I like to see Johnny go in an ideal world? Well, apart from my beloved Steelers, I’d love to see him as an Oakland Raider.
Now that would be the definition of badass.
So, NFL Gods, if you do exist, please do your best to make this happen. And remember rule one, ANYWHERE BUT THE CLEVELAND CLOWNS.
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